Vampire Squid

Vampire Squid

The Vampire Squid is named for its fancy cape and colour. They flap through the deeps, muttering 'meh-heh-heh'. If pressed on the validity of its vampireness, it will flip up its cape in a huff to show you its spikey undergarments. Annoyingly, the Vampire Squid cannot pronounce the word 'chutney', instead saying 'chuntey'. They tend to ask in-depth, emotionally charged questions. As you begin answering, they instantly interrupt with 'OH MY GOD THAT'S LIKE ME' and then talk for 6 hours about something totally irrelevant. For fun, they like to annoy clouds of bioluminscent plankton (even though it has its own perfectly good photophores) into flashing like mad to lure bigger creatures, so it can eat them. However, it is not a fussy eater, sometimes consuming poopoo from other critters. Grim.