The dumbo octopus is not, as many think, named for it's flappy fins that look like an cartoon elephant's ears. It refers cruelly to the abyssal sea-dwelling octopod's very low IQ. No dumbo octopus has ever got higher than an E grade in any exam. Indeed, many struggle to complete even the most basic education. They are unusual in that they do not produce ink, which is thought to be because they'd then be scared they'd have to write something. They live at depths of up to 7,000 metres in the hope that they don't meet anyone who might ask them a difficult question. Their favourite food is orange jelly and they often whistle tunelessly whilst they punt about the place.