Giant Weta

Giant Weta

Do you like the soothing sound of crickets in Summer? Of course you do, you're not a monster. Hey, does that chirping sound a little bit different? That could be because that little leg-rasper is about 4 inches long and weighs the same as 2-3 mice or a couple of sparrows. That's a bit big for an insect you might think. Too right it is. Think about that for a minute.

So very giant in fact, that they can't (thank you Jebus) fly. So (small mercies) nature doesn't bother giving them wings. Some have oviposters a couple of inches long. They don't need to be that long, yet they are. Isn't nature wonderful!

There are a number of varieties of Giant Weta; from the massively-mandibled Tree Weta, to the Cave or jumping weta that can jump 2 metres. In the dark. At your face. AT YOUR NAKED UNSUSPECTING FACE. IN A CAVE.

Apparently, they are 'quite docile', which is good, because if they were any more aggressive than 'quite docile', I imagine the entire Southern Hemisphere would be a desolate, burnt-out wasteland as New Zealanders set fire to everything in a bid to stop them eating their human oppressors. Thankfully, they are mostly herbivorous, but have been known to eat other insects of normal, not pant-shit-inducing size.

Gant Weta's can be lured with cheese and onion crisp sandwiches and captured. The Weta was almost hunted to extinction with up to 0.7p being paid per Weta at the height of their (illegal) trade. It is no coincidence that they are of course, the primary ingredient in Weetabix.